It been years since I've seen you. Or really anyone I dreamt about last night that lead me back to you. Making it all so painfully clear this dream will never come true.
Maybe, this dream is just a byproduct of the story where I wrote you as the romantic lead...twice. I already imagined these epic love stories with us, our friends and families in the starring roles. You were crowned Jimmy Studman by my older brother at one point. Not that you'll ever know that. With that moniker, a super hero was born. Literally, in a literature kind of way. I imagined you saving me.
I used to write fanfics with my friends, starring my friends, the main love interest started out as my favorite actor at the time but you slowly eclisped him. I made a story where instead of me ending up with the famous actor, I end up with you, the boy from my Foods class freshman year. I swear EVERYONE in that knew how I felt about you. God, I'm at a point where I can kind of picture those other students but I wouldn't be able to tell you their names. It's been so long. You're the bright spot of that point in time.
That story about us that you'll never know about made me realize I really enjoy writing and maybe it was time to stop writing about real people and assigning them thought and feelings they never have or will have. Thus, So There was born but still that main love interest looked suspicously like you in my head. I've since moved past that.
God, this all sounds so pathic and stalkerish. I need a life. I need a Garry. I just need someone to save me from the crushing loneliness that I tell everyone I'm fine with, I'm contend being perpetually single. Most of the time it's true. People are exhausting. I've tried and tried but I've ever been wanted back. Not once. Not even by you. I know you can't save me, you don't even know me anymore. Not, that you ever really did. Not that I let you.
Let's face it I live in my writings and the books I read hoping that someday I'll have at least a short love story of my own where feelings were mutual. I guess I need to change something because clearly I've always been the problem.
